My Lack of Pause
The past couple of weeks have been a blur of my self-indulgent sorrow over a lack of career direction – it’s all very dramatic. I don’t aim to be this way, but I have definite bouts of misdirected anxiety about it all.
Rather than embracing every day and appreciating each breath, I’ve had spells of sad mopey behavior. It is not something I’m particularly proud of. To the same extent, I’ve caught myself and tried to correct it. Sometimes going so far as to say something out loud like, “Candi, you’re being ridiculous. What is really bothering you?” I’ve gathered a few pieces of information through this self reflection.
1. I love people. While I’ve always known this, my new realization is about teamwork. I don’t mind working independently, but I thrive on a team. It’s my happy working place.
2. I want to create positive change. This is another thing I already knew, but now the perspective of how my daily work reflects that value has come to the surface. Every day I want to know that something I’ve worked on will have a positive impact on the world somehow.
3. Oh boy, I certainly enjoy communicating. And I can’t escape that fact or change it – that’s just me. Verbal and written communication are a key part of every job I’ve ever held. I cannot escape who I am, so I must learn to both embrace and leverage it.
4. Connecting people gives me incredible joy. Whether it be an introduction between two people I know who can profit from a valuable exchange of ideas, or just meeting a new person who can teach me something. This is an integral part of what drives me to accomplish goals, and it needs to be incorporated into my work too.
Town Lake, Austin, TX